Please Stop Laughing at Me... **

by Jodee Blanco
published by Adams Media
2003 p. 276

Ms Blanco's story is a harrowing and excruciating painful story and it should be read by all those interested in the topic, which is, if you haven't inferred it from the title, about bullying. The story is compelling and empathetic and it keeps the reader engaged. Though that engagement has a certain disturbing element to it. Why do we want to keep reading? Perhaps because we want to learn how she resolves these issues or perhaps more likely, because we the masses, enjoy a good train wreck. And a train wreck it is. But that's not the fault of the author. The balance of sensationalism and true reporting in the best interest of the public is always a fine line to be balanced. It's her story, so lets give hr the benefit of the doubt that it is simply not a story of sensationalism. In fact, she apparently does much grassroots work in the schools to help to try to prevent the severe type of bullying she went through. She certainly walks the talk.

So a quick summary is necessary. This is the story of her school life and experiences. Basically, sometime in late grammar school she turned from a fairly well liked kid into an outcast. It continued into her high school years. In these years she was severely bullied. Especially in high school, when one of her breasts did not develop properly. But let's be clear, the bullying happened way before she hit adolescence. Of course, now she is the successful author of this book and works doing public relations for some high level celebrities. That's the short version.

The book has some issues of course. There are some things that are not quite right. I don't want to discount some very real feelings and experiences. No one deserves to go through some of the things that she went through. But she comes across to me as a person who, if I had known her, might have gotten under my skin. People in the book keep telling her that she's too sensitive. On top of that, she was a bit of a drama queen. She participated in school plays and the speech team. She put her self out there - a target. A target whose buttons are quite apparent and easy to push. So I don't want to say she had it coming, because she most definitely did not, but she did not help her case with her behavior.

Another odd thing is how she was able to get acceptance from the cool crowd, which she so desperately wanted, in the beginning of a new school but kept losing that acceptance and turned into an outcast. Perhaps it was that desperation. But what bothers me is that most outcasts don't usually get accepted and then lose that acceptance. Most outcasts never get that acceptance to begin with. If she is trying to reach out to other kids with universal experiences, that part of her experiences are experiences that other troubled kids would have a hard time understanding.

I read this book for a middle school book discussion group. Most of the students in my group are from the inner city and our school has over 90% poverty. So I was concerned how the students would relate their experiences to hers. Ms. Blanco was an extremely talented child. Her parents were able to provide all the creature comforts plus some luxuries like a trip to Greece and they were extremely supportive and involved in her life. The problem with this is that she is trying to get the message to other kids that if she could survive it than they could too. But clearly, my students don't have the same background as her. I have great doubts that many (not all) would be able to achieve what she has. In her defense, she can only write about what she knows. That was her experience and she can't modify it for the sake of others who have different backgrounds. I found it interesting that some of my students empathised with what she was writing and felt like she did. I guess there is some universal truths to what Ms. Blanco is writing. I just don't know if my students will have the same opportunities to overcome the trauma that they have experienced.

What really bothered me was her desire to be accepted by a certain class of people. If one group didn't want her, she should have searched for acceptance else where. Eventually, some older girl does take her under her wing, and Ms. Blanco learns that there are alternatives to the cheerleading/jock culture she is so obsessed with at school. She learns that same lesson when she goes to a summer camp for kids who are writers. She grows to accept herself and learn that there are other people in the world. It is an awakening for her. That's fantastic. This is the lesson she needs to get out to her adolescent readers. In fact, I have always had the opinion that those kids who were less cool in school, quite often grew up to be very interesting people. Things did not come easy to them so they had to grow and learn. While the cool kids are on top of the world don't need to grow, learn and struggle because they got everything they need already. Ms. Blanco even states that these peoples' best years were the high school years. If I go to my high school reunion, I would surely be curious about those people who weren't part of the cool crowd. They would be more interesting to me. So what's the problem? At her high school reunion, she still wants to be accepted by all those people who tormented her. She even swoons at the idea that her old crush, who tormented her, might be interested in her. She still wants to be part of the cool crowd. Sigh.